A year in country

   Yesterday the new group of trainees came into country. A year ago that was me, excited yet totally freaked out about the endeavor in front of me. I have come a long way since then and I can't say that I would like to repeat the experience. It was quite a challenge, to come away from everything I have ever know, forced to take on a new culture, a whole new way of life. There were so many times in my journey here to where I am now as a Peace Corps Volunteer that I just wanted to give up, turn around and head back home, where things were easier and it didn't take so much just to get through the day. During training, I learned to take it one day at a time because any more would cause too much anxiety. I have since been able to look more into the future without getting too anxious.
   Seeing the last group of trainees come in, made me realize how far I have come. While being here, I have taken on the challenges and have grown and learned from them. It has been a gradual growth, not something can easily be noticed but requires a reflection and a looking back and perhaps a comparison to those just arriving in country. I have learned many things about myself, some good and others not so good. I have become more patient and understanding to others differences. 
      Yesterday my sitemate and I celebrated our year in country by baking brownies and talking about our experience so far. It was a great time of reflection and a good time of looking at where we would like to be when we end our service here. Through talking with her I was able to realize some of my weaknesses in leadership and figure out how I want to improve them. I want to use this experience to the fullest extent to prepare myself for my future job and life.                        
One thing that I am finding a challenge to learn is not to base my productivity on how busy I am or the changes that I see but more by my investment of time. I have learned the challenge of development work and have see that there are certain things that can only be accomplished through someone investing time in someone else. Development work is a challenge too because a lot of time gets invested in others and one doesn't always see results. The country director here in Guatemala (who served in the PC in the 80's) told us that we just have to know and tell ourselves that we are making a difference because we probably won't see results and it can get defeating putting in long hours teaching people better habits only to find them stuck in their old ways.

All in all I can say it has been a challenging experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. My experience here is working its way to the PC slogan "the toughest job you will ever love."

Will it ever get done? Coming to the realization

On Monday, I stopped into the place where I want to move to check in on the status. I didn't expect much because I have learned from time that if I have my expectations high, most likely I will be let down. I have dealt too much here with the occurrence of 'the boy who cried wolf', too many times I have been told a date of when the house would be finished, only to be left disappointed as the date came and went with no visible progress happening on the house. I originally when to ask about the room at the end of September and told the landlord that I had a little time left before I would be wanting to move. I guess maybe I shouldn't have told him that and maybe for this reason he still isn't rushing to get it done. If I were him, I feel as though I would get a rush going on things because the American is going to be living here and paying me rent so the sooner I get it done the sooner the money will be flowing it, guess he doesn't have that mentality. So after them telling me that it would be done at the end of November and having that date come and go, I inquired about moving in after my vacation in the States for Christmas, which they said wouldn't be a problem, but come back only to find the house in the same state as when I left it in December. From there I got the date of the end of February, which also came and went. I was then told the end of March and that came and went followed by the second week of April which as very quickly slipping out of my hands and I fear the same result will happen. 

I came to the realization on Monday that I need to move on. My patience has been tested to the max with this experience and I feel that I have grown a lot with it, but there comes a point where I need to be realistic and see it for what it really is and accept that fact that maybe it isn't going to ever happen. And with that realization, I decided to check out other places, something I should've done a long time ago.

I went out yesterday with Marlaine talking to all the store owners to see if they knew about places for rent. I found two places, looked at one of them and it seems promising although it is right next to the cantina so I am not sure what PC will say about it. The other place I will check out depending on what PC says about the first find that I have. I called my APCD (program director) about coming to see it and even he was surprised to hear that the other place wasn't done yet and though maybe it would be a lack of money that is preventing them from finishing. The next time I see my counterpart at the health center I am going to talk to him about the situation and have him call the owner to see what the issue is. If money is the issue, PC can front the money and then I can deduct it from rent I would have to pay. We shall see.

I would appreciate your prayers for continued patience and wisdom in this situation and pray that a new place may come through for me soon.

...To better blog posts!

ok so I guess I need to admit if you haven't discovered it already, blogging is not my strong point. I haven't been to regular with my updates and I have been struggling for topics, but after talking with my mom about ideas and finding out what she would like to see I feel like I have a better idea of how to do it. So here is a toast (lift your drink with me) to better blog posts...wish me luck!

So an update on my other house and my current one: I went to visit my future residence this past Tuesday and was pleasantly surprise.I believe there is only a week or so left. The only thing that needs to be finished is the bathroom which just includes installing a toilet and shower, roof and a door and also a door at the entrance at the back wall. It has been a challenge to gauge the amount of time until completion because I haven't really figured out how they work here, all I know is that it seems painfully slow by American standards. I hope to be there before the end of April but only God knows if that will happen.

As for my current house, they are adding a third level. I feel like it's more of a show than a necessity but that's just my opinion. So now on top of the noise that comes from the guys making shirts above me now comes more noise from the guys working on the third level. I am not a huge fan of the increase in people in and around my house. I enjoy my own space and I feel like it's growing smaller....one of the many reasons I am looking forward to my own place.

Hope you enjoyed the new and improved blog post and please feel free to leave comments about topic suggestions...thanks much :)

Kelsey

What's happenin?

Just thought I would give you all an update on my work and life here in Guatemala. I am continuing in giving my health talks to my four different groups in my two communities and trying to figure out how to best educated these groups of individuals, most of who are illiterate. I have been working on a schedule of two health talks a month but now I am taking a step back and realizing that that is a lot of information to cover in a period of a month and expect these women to remember it at a level that they can share it with other community members and give health talks on the topics in a similar manner as I do. I have decided that it would be worth slowing down and arriving at our goal a little latter and have the women better prepared then to stick with the current plan and be left with health promoters that are not ready to work in their communities. I have decided to cover one topic a month and use the second meeting time of the month for a review and potentially a cooking or craft activity. Also, during the review time I will pick out two group members to help give the review of the topic covered in order to build up skills and get them ready to work in their communities.

On another note, when I was heading to one of my groups, I was approached by another women that wasn't apart of my group. After talking with her, I learned that she was a part of a group of women that exist in one of my communities and that they want to work to help get a better drainage system in place in their community. She didn't ask me for money (a huge relief as this seems to happen a lot!) but for the guidance to help secure funds for these projects they wanted to take on. I was excited to be approached and excited to take this on. She also asked about me starting charlas with the group she was a part of. It was a great feeling to have people understand my job and seek me out instead of me trying to find participants. We didn't get many details of how we are going to work together but she was supposed to call this past Friday but didn't. I hope we can get something going with her and her group. Another reason that I really hope this works out is that the community she is from doesn't have a woman's committee as part of the leadership in the community and apparently according to the municipality, every community has a right to have one of these. A woman's committee will help out when it comes time for me to do projects because they will be more aware of the needs of the women in the community and forming a committee is a step to becoming official and will allow them to ask for funding from the municipality.

Living Intentionally

Trying to figure out what I want to gain by being here in the Peace Corps. I guess I have the typical vies of what a PCV expereince should be like (gained from a book from PC the includes short stories about past PCVs called "A Life Inspired") but is that what I want and can I be satisfied if that's not what I get out of all of this? I feel like coming into this experience as a Chrisitian I am already set up to have a different experience. I feel like I am still adjusting to everything here, it's a slow go like everything else here. :) I still don't feel like I have it all together and I am not sure that I will ever truly get to that point here. After watching presentations from others in my department over what we have all done with our first 6 months in site, I feel like I can't help but compare my accomplishments to theirs. Why do I feel like I need to? Can't I be happy with what I am accomplishing? That I have women who to come to my twice a month meetings and participate and thank me for teaching them? Why should the volume of what I accomplish be the factor by which I measure my time here?

I have decided to live more intentionally here. I think this will help me in my challenge of comparing myself with others and will help me to be more content in my work here. I feel like I am so ready for the next step that maybe I am missing what the here and now has to offer. Now I have not totally figured out what an intentional life looks like for me but I would dearly like to get there. I think a good start would be setting some reasonable goals here and now that I can work towards.
Just thought I would leave you with a picture of the sun setting as seen from my health center. Enjoy!

Perspective is everything

Learning contentment is always a challenge, but I feel like things are coming more in to perspective with my time here in Guatemala. There are many things that I have to be thankful for and there are situations that I just don't want to deal with that could be much worse. Life is all how you look at it.

After reading the blog of a fellow PCV friend who is terminating her service early and understanding her struggles, I feel like I can get a better perspective of my time here and how great of an experience it has been. I am truly thankful for all of the great friends that I have made with Guatemalans. I love the health center staff, with the exception of a few who get on my nerves every once in a while, and I love just hanging out with them a sharing life. It is also nice to have the staff that are behind what we are doing as PCVs and seeks to support us in our endeavors. And, though I am not a huge fan of living my my host family, they are nice and give me some space.

Speaking of my living arrangement, I check in today on my other place hoping for some good news. I was thinking the news had to be good because they had been working on it as I passed it this past week, but to my dismay, I was informed that it would still be 20 days. I feel like I am dealing with the boy who cried wolf. They have told me a handful of times before that it would be completed by a certain day and that day would come and go with no significant sign of progress. I just can't help but sit in that mindset that it won't really be done in 20 days but part of my really wants to. All I can do now is wait and trust in God's timing, knowing that I am where I am supposed to be at this point in time. He has me here to teach me and allow me to grow closer to the person he created me to be.

Please pray that I may continue to have patience and trust God with His timing in this situation and others.

Much love to all,
Kelsey

A quite day at the health center

I am finding it pretty easy to focus today, working on a powerpoint presentation to present to the people in charge of the health center for all of my department. There is hardly anybody here working at the health center because they are out protesting in the area of the market. The health workers have not been paid for two months, going on three. The educators that work with Marlaine and I have not been paid at all since they started here in January. I can't imagine working like that. I feel like sometimes getting the paycheck and compensation for my time is the only thing that keeps me going. If I didn't get paid while working in the hospital back home, I am pretty sure I would have left to find a job somewhere else that would have paid me my wages. It would never happen in the States, there would be such an uproar that changes would have to be made or the people just wouldn't work. I guess it's just so different here. We now have a working laboratory here at the health center (very simple by American standards but it gets the job done) and the lab tech has not recieved 8 months pay from his previous job. If we were in the states I feel that there would be some serious action taken against this former employer so that one could recieve their wages due.

I just thought I would share the contrasting culture here in Guatemala. Oh and I also heard from PC security that Peasant Farmers were threatning to protest today, probably an issue of wages as well. Guess I can say that I am glad to be supported by the American Government.