A year in country

   Yesterday the new group of trainees came into country. A year ago that was me, excited yet totally freaked out about the endeavor in front of me. I have come a long way since then and I can't say that I would like to repeat the experience. It was quite a challenge, to come away from everything I have ever know, forced to take on a new culture, a whole new way of life. There were so many times in my journey here to where I am now as a Peace Corps Volunteer that I just wanted to give up, turn around and head back home, where things were easier and it didn't take so much just to get through the day. During training, I learned to take it one day at a time because any more would cause too much anxiety. I have since been able to look more into the future without getting too anxious.
   Seeing the last group of trainees come in, made me realize how far I have come. While being here, I have taken on the challenges and have grown and learned from them. It has been a gradual growth, not something can easily be noticed but requires a reflection and a looking back and perhaps a comparison to those just arriving in country. I have learned many things about myself, some good and others not so good. I have become more patient and understanding to others differences. 
      Yesterday my sitemate and I celebrated our year in country by baking brownies and talking about our experience so far. It was a great time of reflection and a good time of looking at where we would like to be when we end our service here. Through talking with her I was able to realize some of my weaknesses in leadership and figure out how I want to improve them. I want to use this experience to the fullest extent to prepare myself for my future job and life.                        
One thing that I am finding a challenge to learn is not to base my productivity on how busy I am or the changes that I see but more by my investment of time. I have learned the challenge of development work and have see that there are certain things that can only be accomplished through someone investing time in someone else. Development work is a challenge too because a lot of time gets invested in others and one doesn't always see results. The country director here in Guatemala (who served in the PC in the 80's) told us that we just have to know and tell ourselves that we are making a difference because we probably won't see results and it can get defeating putting in long hours teaching people better habits only to find them stuck in their old ways.

All in all I can say it has been a challenging experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. My experience here is working its way to the PC slogan "the toughest job you will ever love."

Will it ever get done? Coming to the realization

On Monday, I stopped into the place where I want to move to check in on the status. I didn't expect much because I have learned from time that if I have my expectations high, most likely I will be let down. I have dealt too much here with the occurrence of 'the boy who cried wolf', too many times I have been told a date of when the house would be finished, only to be left disappointed as the date came and went with no visible progress happening on the house. I originally when to ask about the room at the end of September and told the landlord that I had a little time left before I would be wanting to move. I guess maybe I shouldn't have told him that and maybe for this reason he still isn't rushing to get it done. If I were him, I feel as though I would get a rush going on things because the American is going to be living here and paying me rent so the sooner I get it done the sooner the money will be flowing it, guess he doesn't have that mentality. So after them telling me that it would be done at the end of November and having that date come and go, I inquired about moving in after my vacation in the States for Christmas, which they said wouldn't be a problem, but come back only to find the house in the same state as when I left it in December. From there I got the date of the end of February, which also came and went. I was then told the end of March and that came and went followed by the second week of April which as very quickly slipping out of my hands and I fear the same result will happen. 

I came to the realization on Monday that I need to move on. My patience has been tested to the max with this experience and I feel that I have grown a lot with it, but there comes a point where I need to be realistic and see it for what it really is and accept that fact that maybe it isn't going to ever happen. And with that realization, I decided to check out other places, something I should've done a long time ago.

I went out yesterday with Marlaine talking to all the store owners to see if they knew about places for rent. I found two places, looked at one of them and it seems promising although it is right next to the cantina so I am not sure what PC will say about it. The other place I will check out depending on what PC says about the first find that I have. I called my APCD (program director) about coming to see it and even he was surprised to hear that the other place wasn't done yet and though maybe it would be a lack of money that is preventing them from finishing. The next time I see my counterpart at the health center I am going to talk to him about the situation and have him call the owner to see what the issue is. If money is the issue, PC can front the money and then I can deduct it from rent I would have to pay. We shall see.

I would appreciate your prayers for continued patience and wisdom in this situation and pray that a new place may come through for me soon.

...To better blog posts!

ok so I guess I need to admit if you haven't discovered it already, blogging is not my strong point. I haven't been to regular with my updates and I have been struggling for topics, but after talking with my mom about ideas and finding out what she would like to see I feel like I have a better idea of how to do it. So here is a toast (lift your drink with me) to better blog posts...wish me luck!

So an update on my other house and my current one: I went to visit my future residence this past Tuesday and was pleasantly surprise.I believe there is only a week or so left. The only thing that needs to be finished is the bathroom which just includes installing a toilet and shower, roof and a door and also a door at the entrance at the back wall. It has been a challenge to gauge the amount of time until completion because I haven't really figured out how they work here, all I know is that it seems painfully slow by American standards. I hope to be there before the end of April but only God knows if that will happen.

As for my current house, they are adding a third level. I feel like it's more of a show than a necessity but that's just my opinion. So now on top of the noise that comes from the guys making shirts above me now comes more noise from the guys working on the third level. I am not a huge fan of the increase in people in and around my house. I enjoy my own space and I feel like it's growing smaller....one of the many reasons I am looking forward to my own place.

Hope you enjoyed the new and improved blog post and please feel free to leave comments about topic suggestions...thanks much :)

Kelsey