A year in country

   Yesterday the new group of trainees came into country. A year ago that was me, excited yet totally freaked out about the endeavor in front of me. I have come a long way since then and I can't say that I would like to repeat the experience. It was quite a challenge, to come away from everything I have ever know, forced to take on a new culture, a whole new way of life. There were so many times in my journey here to where I am now as a Peace Corps Volunteer that I just wanted to give up, turn around and head back home, where things were easier and it didn't take so much just to get through the day. During training, I learned to take it one day at a time because any more would cause too much anxiety. I have since been able to look more into the future without getting too anxious.
   Seeing the last group of trainees come in, made me realize how far I have come. While being here, I have taken on the challenges and have grown and learned from them. It has been a gradual growth, not something can easily be noticed but requires a reflection and a looking back and perhaps a comparison to those just arriving in country. I have learned many things about myself, some good and others not so good. I have become more patient and understanding to others differences. 
      Yesterday my sitemate and I celebrated our year in country by baking brownies and talking about our experience so far. It was a great time of reflection and a good time of looking at where we would like to be when we end our service here. Through talking with her I was able to realize some of my weaknesses in leadership and figure out how I want to improve them. I want to use this experience to the fullest extent to prepare myself for my future job and life.                        
One thing that I am finding a challenge to learn is not to base my productivity on how busy I am or the changes that I see but more by my investment of time. I have learned the challenge of development work and have see that there are certain things that can only be accomplished through someone investing time in someone else. Development work is a challenge too because a lot of time gets invested in others and one doesn't always see results. The country director here in Guatemala (who served in the PC in the 80's) told us that we just have to know and tell ourselves that we are making a difference because we probably won't see results and it can get defeating putting in long hours teaching people better habits only to find them stuck in their old ways.

All in all I can say it has been a challenging experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. My experience here is working its way to the PC slogan "the toughest job you will ever love."